The Dash - Linda Ellis (1996)

I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone, from the beginning…to the end.


He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time that she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own, the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard. Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent YOUR dash?



Saturday, November 9, 2013

A reflection as I turn 30 years old!

30 years old - wow, I can't believe how fast the last year flew by, much less my 20s.  But, the day has arrived!

I started my 29th birthday by establishing a 30 by 30 list, determined to accomplish every goal.  And, if you know me, I do not like to fail; I am an "A" type personality in every way.  But, guess what?  I did, in fact, fail to check off every item on my list - and actually, I am okay with it.  I did take care of some of my goals: I enjoyed a chocolate spa treatment with my sister at the Hershey Spa, finished our wills, did something truly spontaneous, bought a boat for Jon, learned to use chopsticks, went whale watching, taught Jon to play golf (and he can drive better than me already...grrr), started a gratitude journal, went a whole week without complaining about anything (that was huge for me as a person who always wants things to be perfect), got Jon to dance in the rain with me (he hates being wet), perfected a lot more than 10 new dessert recipes, lost a little weight (not nearly enough, but on the right track), am in the process of the master bedroom/bathroom remodel, and watched a little more than half of the AFI's greatest movies (although I don't really agree with most of the selections).

So, I didn't accomplish everything on my list.  The goal when I made that list was to set aside more time for myself.  I almost never have time to read for fun, take a class like cake decorating, or scrapbook.  Sometimes, I really envy people who say "I just finished [insert book title here] - read it if you get the chance" or "The babysitter is on the way so the hubby and I can go out for a date night".  But, you know what?  Me-time isn't really an option much these days, and I wouldn't want any other way.  I have a beautiful nine month old baby girl who has always been a mommy's girl.  She is still nursing and has been going through extreme separation anxiety for the last six weeks, not even wanting Daddy.  Before I know it, she is going to be perfectly fine spending a whole weekend with Mamaw and Papaw, away from Mommy and Daddy - and I'll be the one crying.  So, right now, I am trying to savor all that Mommy and Maddie time.  I also have an almost three year old boy which means I say "no" a million times a day, am continually pulling snacks out of cabinets/bags, and Disney and Nick Jr. songs are always playing in my head.  To top it off, my husband and I own a law practice in Indianapolis, so the success of that business means a lot to our family.

When I was 15 years old, I knew I wanted to be an attorney and have a family by 30 years old.  But when I pictured my life at 30, I pictured working in a big firm, striving to make partner and bring my family financial security, picking my kids up from daycare/preschool around 6 pm, making a quick dinner, putting the kids to bed and working a little more until bed, counting down to the weekends for rest and family time.  But, my life is very different than I pictured!  God's plan is so much better than that picture!!!  I have never missed either child's first word, first step, first tooth breaking through, etc.  I am able to spend all day with my munchkins at the office; Jonathan can play all day in his own space at the office, and Maddie can play at my feet while I write motions and letters to clients, manage office accounts, and file paperwork.  Some weeks Jon's desk and filing cabinets are stacked a foot high with files, we don't see Jon much because he is in court all over the state, and client payments don't come in when expected.  But, week after week, God is faithful - the bills always get paid and our needs are met, with money left over to buy Maddie a cute new dress, take the kids on a fun outing, and support the ministries and people we love.

So, I didn't finish my list, but hey, I have a whole lifetime to check items off my "bucket list".  The whole idea behind creating a "bucket list" is to challenge yourself to try new things, continually improve yourself, and not take the little time we have our earth for granted.  And, those are goals I work towards everyday.

"So, when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash…would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent YOUR dash?"

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Three more items done!

1. Do  something truly spontaneous
What could be more spontaneous than deciding to take a NINE HOUR CAR TRIP to Pennsylvania by MYSELF with a TODDLER and SIX WEEK OLD BABY only THREE DAYS before it was time to leave???  I was homesick and wanted everyone to meet Maddie before her May baptism so I asked Jon if he minded and when he said to go, I planned the trip.  I wish Jon could have joined us but I think I did pretty good alone with twi kids for six days!
2. FINALLY finish the wills
Jon and I have been so busy since we opened the law office in January 2012 that our will consisted of a few funeral declaration scribbled on a post-it note, unsigned draft of a will that assigned a guardian for minor children IN THE EVENT WE HAD SOME, and a trust that had no assets described in it.   We have been so busy encouraging our clients to get their wills in order that we didn't take the time to finish ours.  So, I finally sat down and got all the documents in order.  Jon was still so busy he didn't completely read every section of his will before he signed it - wait until he reads section 4 - just kidding, honey!
3. Have a chocolate spa treatment with my sister at the Hershey Hotel
Emmy and I scheduled our chocolate massages while I was in PA over Mother's Day.  I have always wanted to go to the Hershey Hotel for a spa day!  Although we couldn't make a day of it, even the hour and a half away from reminding my husband about something I told him twice before or yelling at Jonathan for once again for not using his "inside-voice" was a wonderful break.  The staff treated us like queens!  And, it was Emmy's first massage, so it was fun treating her to it and hearing her rave about it afterward.  Perfect Mother's Day gift!

I also accomplished something on the list that was not supposed to be completed by age 30, but the opportunity presented itself.  In January, my Mom's cat, Rascal, passed away.  She stated then that she didn't want another animal - she couldn't handle losing another one.  Then, when I was visiting in March with the kids, the issue of getting a new cat came up twice and she was excited about it.  So, for Mother's Day, Emmy and I adopted a kitten for her.  The kitten was a stray and was hit by a car.  An adoption agency and foster family nursed it back to health and gave him all his shots and put him up for adoption.  Mom named him Snowflake and they are becoming quick friends! 
 Rascal

 Snowflake

Buy someone a pet - check

I have gotten several other items almost finished but can't check them off yet!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Welcome to the Family, Billable Hours!

For several years, Jon and I have jealously watched family and friends around us buy a boat.  Every time we saw a boat for sale, Jon and I would talk for 30 minutes about the kind of boat we wanted and how we could trim our budget to afford one.  This year, I was so serious about making that dream a reality for Jon, I added to my 30 before 30 bucket list.  And, I am proud to say that on Saturday, we received the title to a 2000 Fish Hawk Crestliner.  It is 16' long and has four seats, two live wells, lots of storage and the hull is deeper in the middle to keep the kids safer.  We plan on taking it to be painted soon - Wabash Red, of course.  We'll probably replace the carpet next year, but it's in pretty good shape for being 12 years old!  Jon and Jonathan spent four hours power-washing the boat yesterday and getting it ready for its maiden voyage (with us).  Jonathan is so excited about going fishing - and Jon is so proud to see his son so excited.  We can't wait for nice weather!  We tossed around a lot of names over the last week, but we have decided to name the boat "Billable Hours".  Now, when you call Jon on his cell and he says he is working, don't be fooled - listen closely for the sound of a reel turning in the background!


Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Learning to Use Chopsticks

So, one of my 30 by 30 bucket list items was to learn to use chopsticks when eating Chinese food.  I tried once a long time ago and couldn't figure it out.  I ended up stabbing my chicken with the chopstick because I couldn't pick it up any other way, a method I recently learned was impolite and reflects poorly on the parents because it is their responsibility to teach their children to eat properly.  So, while I was home for Thanksgiving, we decided to take a break from leftovers and order Chinese.  Ty, my brother-in-law, is very good with chopsticks and gave my sister and me a lesson on proper handling of the chopsticks.  (Jon watched and laughed at us, using a fork!)  So, I think we did pretty good for our first time.  Apparently, the English word "chopstick" may have derived from Chinese Pidgin English, a pidgin in which "chop chop" meant "quickly".  Well, I certainly didn't eat my food "quickly"!  By the time I was done eating (and helping Jonathan), those last couple bites were cold.  But, I never touched a fork and the food tasted great, so I think I took a great first step!


Yesterday, Jon and I had chinese for lunch.  I am proud to say I never touched a fork, remembered everything Ty taught me, and finished my meal before it got cold!  I think I have officially "learned to use chopsticks" - CHECK!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

A hard, but amazing year ahead!

"In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away." Shing Xiong

So, I turned 29 years old last week, which means I am a year away from turning 30.  Now, it's not that I think 30 is old, but most of my life, it seemed I was waiting to be older, and suddenly, I don't know where my 20s went!  As I was approaching last week's birthday, I came across The Dash poem and realized that I want more "moments that take my breath away" - to show more love and appreciation - to not be so busy that I forget what is important. 

Thus, I finally put my bucket list into writing.  I have already accomplished 21 items on my life's bucket list, but I have 79 to go.  The first 30 items on my to-do list I want to complete within the year - by my 30th birthday.  It's a nice size list considering we have a busy law office, a very energetic toddler, and a beautiful baby girl arriving within weeks, but a year from now, I am determined to be more healthy physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

I am very excited about year 29 - it's going to be a hard but amazing year!